***
So, it was one of those days when I was utterly bored, that I figured I should get out of the house and roam about. I haven't been to too much places so maybe that day was a good day to do just that. I rode a train and got off in one of those parks I keep on hearing about. I honestly do not understand what's so great about plants, but whatever.
As I was entering, I saw two people, and they seemed friendly enough to say, "Hi." The first one asked, "Is this your first time here?" I said, "Yes, why?" "Well," the second one answered, "not many people come here, so we'd know if a new face came by." "Oh, I see." "And you have that stupid lost look on your face," the first one HAD to quip. The first one's name I got to learn was Death and the other was introduced as Life. I've heard of Death's and Life's before, but it was the first time to see and talk to their kind.
Death volunteered to show me around, and coaxed the friend to trail along. They had a strange familiarity about them, like I had met them before, but forgot. As we were walking around the gardens, Death was describing to me each plant, each flower, how they grew, what their names were, where they were found, in detail. "Wow! How do you know so much about these things?" I asked.
"Well, you see, I work in hospitals a lot,"
"No, I don't see."
"Wait, let me finish! And I always see people, mourning and weeping, and bodies growing cold, it is quite a depressing sight, you see, so I make an active effort to read about things that are colorful and blooming and beautiful, whenever I get off from work. They just seem to have that certain spark."
Spark? What spark? I was thinking to myself, I guess some people were just flower people.
Then Death kept rambling on about leaf patterns, and petal formations, and fruit developments.
At the back of my mind, I was thinking, what a geekoid! But then I noticed Life being silent, so I tried to make small talk.
"Hey, are you okay? Aren't you interested in what Death is talking about?"
"Of course I am!" Life replied indignantly.
"Of course Life is!" Death interjected, "Life is the keeper of these grounds you know. L would be the best person to tell you about everything that grows here! Aren't I right, L?"
"Don't try to act cool and call me L," came the response.
"So why aren't you doing the tour instead of Death?" I asked.
"Well, you see..."
These people and their Well-you-sees! Just get to the point!
"Yes," I answered as patiently as I could.
"You're one of the few people who actually took interest in my pets."
"Your pets? The plants you mean? But Death is interested in them too..."
"Death doesn't count! D comes around every week asking me about things, and updates and whatever-else about the gardens. D can be considered as part of the gardens already!"
"So, you're now calling Death, D?" I teased.
"Whatever! Point is, I didn't have much practice with speaking tours and stuff..."
"Come on! You just have to tell me what you know!"
"D will do a better job with speaking. D is more sociable and more people are familiar with Death than with me, quite frankly."
"Just ignore Life!" Death interrupted. "You see, L is just in one of those attention-seeking-acting-depressed phases."
"Why? When you're surrounded with the things you care about why would you be 'depressed'?"
"Well, you see..." Life answered.
"Uh-huh..." I said, rolling my eyes.
"These plants, I take care of them, I nurse them, make sure they have all they need, and they respond really well to it."
"What's depressing about that?"
"Well, you see..."
(Why can't they stop with these well-you-sees? As if, it's common sense!)
"My flowers, they would bloom and show off their prettiest colors and their largest petals. They would send out these exhilarating fragrances, that just relaxes and makes you breathe easier, but people just ignore them and walk pass them. And when they have ran their course..."
Death takes over the conversation, "when they have ran their course, and their petals start to turn brown and fall off, that's when people see them. Then, these people would complain that Life is not doing the job well, letting the flowers wilt and go ugly. You see, they forget that these flowers have been in bloom for months and Life has been at work to keep them that way."
"All things have a cycle, you see," Life said, "When the bloom is over, they wilt, giving chance for other plants to bloom. They all have their own seasons and their own time, but in a year, we never run out of flowers that bloom. So I find it strange and depressing that the only ones that get noticed are the flowers that have already finished their time. And my flowers don't even get thanked for a job well done, and a proper send off when it's time to go. Although, when they go, they always leave something to remember them by, like a seed. And then the cycle starts again. So like I said, we never run out of flowers."
"Yup, aren't they a mystery and a beauty?" Death said with admiration. "I wish I could have Life's job and be around flowers all the time."
"Well, I wish I could have your job, and just get to see their beauty without the pain of having to cultivate them," Life answered.
"By the way, we forgot to ask your name," Death said.
"Right! I'm sorry I forgot to introduce myself. I rarely meet new people. My name is Fluke, like a tapeworm or a fluke of nature."
"YOU'RE A WHAT???" they said in unison.
"I thought that Flukes don't exist anymore," Life wondered out loud.
"I am here, aren't I?"
"I heard of your kind," Death said, "You guys, wake up to sleep, go through a day to get through a year, get through a year to finish a lifetime. You guys do not get hungry but then you don't get full either."
"Yup! That's exactly who we are!" I said beaming with pride and these two people looked at me with a funny expression.
"Yeah, you guys avoid trouble but then you also avoid decisions, you refuse to take lifts and stairs sticking to the ground, and you don't like subways, preferring the surface," Life added.
"And what's so wrong with that?" I asked. Although, I was a bit pleased that they omitted the well-you-see phrases in their last sentences.
"Well, we don't know. Well, wait! What's a Fluke doing out of their house today? Isn't this outside your routine?" Life asked.
"I got bored, I guess."
"So a Fluke went out to seek adventure?" Death teased and that was followed by laughter.
At this point, I really do not appreciate where this conversation is heading!
"Why? What if I was?"
"Then, you'd be the flukiest of all the Flukes if there ever was such a word, because a Fluke seeking adventure is unheard of! Come on!"
"But seriously, we really thought that Flukes would have been gone by now, what with the surge of self-help books, motivational speakers, purpose-driven life events and stuff like that," Life said.
"Exactly!" Death lunged, "I thought with wars, massacres, 9/11, the Abu Sayyaf, and movies like the Bucket List, people would want to have some sort of forward action. There really is no excuse to be a Fluke anymore you see."
"Excuse me???!!!"
"I thought that I was miserable because of the sorrow surrounding me, but no offense, I think I'm actually better off than you," Death said.
"And I thought I was pathetic because I keep on struggling to keep my flowers in bloom, but you are far worse, my friend," Life added, giving me a "comforting" pat on the shoulder.
I knew they were trying to make a point, but I simply refuse to give them the upper hand. I will have the last say in this conversation!
So I turned to them, put my nose high up in the air, and gave them the best rebuttal EVER,
"CHE!"
