Dear Danie,
I've already stopped asking why. After several deaths in the family, I have stopped asking why. Besides, they have not been helpful - like why would a 24-year old be killed in cold blood under a presumed drug war or a mother who seemed to be recovering from cancer died anyway. See, they do not help. Not even asking God why helps, because when the world does not make sense, the only thing left to make sense is faith.
So, when I heard of your passing, I did not ask why. I just asked what happened. Your beloved Aya has been born to the world, we were more worried about her than you because you seemed fine, until you weren't and then you were gone. Some things even science can't explain. There is no why to death, it just is. Everyone dies, some earlier than others, some in freak accidents, and some in senseless bloodlust. I have stopped asking why.
They say all people die, but not everyone lives but girl, YOU LIVED. I don't think I've seen anyone who is as brave (and perhaps, close to reckless) as you. You wanted to surf so you did. You wanted to try new things so you did. You were not afraid to bet your heart and try again when it broke. I think, this above all, makes you you. My heart is the last one I'd put on the betting table - I may even be more willing to bet my life than to bet my heart. But you, my girl, did both and you did it well.
Look at the lives you've touched, and the lives you've made alive by your presence, and the life you bore. In your short 32 years, the zest of life you exuded made me believe you'd live forever. But it was not to be so.
We said we'll go on another girl's trip when things settle down and when the money comes, but it looks like, that trip will have to wait until we all meet again at some point in the future.
I cannot regret nor resent the way you died nor even be greedy of why your life seemed short. For some reason, I was just grateful - grateful to have known you, grateful that before you have moved on to the next chapter, that I got to meet you and got to call you friend.
Thank you. Thank you for that.
"The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."
I have been given you in this life. Blessed be the name of the Lord. God has called you home and one day, we too, will be called home. Blessed be the name of the Lord. And really, I can't help but feel just grateful and blessed that in this lifetime, our lives have intersected. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
It has been an honor and pleasure, Surfer Girl.
You were always an adventurer, Danie girl. I guess God has better waves for you to catch in heaven. Surf on.
Love,
Ciara
